Category Archives: Hope

Living

I decided to own it! I always advise people to own their dreams, to own who they truly are — the part that makes them shine. But I’ve never done it myself because it’s so scary. What if I suck? What if I’m full of shit? What if I’m not worthy? What if it all crumbles and then is consumed by a flaming ball of shame?

Well, I’ll give myself the advise I would give one of my best friends: Fuck all that negative shit that belittles and destroys! You can do it! You were meant to do it!

Or I could take Steve Jobs advise, which is wonderful and much more eloquently put:

It’s still scary to follow your dreams though. You just do it anyway.

Joy Therapy


Photo by kgreggain.

Many a spiritual fable ends with the lesson of meeting the universe half-way on the road to your dreams. In that spirit, I have made a “Joy Therapy” list: things that are within my power to bring joy back into my life. And I leave all the serendipitous synchronicities up to the universe. 🙂

Angel’s Joy Therapy

  • Laugh
  • Exercise
  • Dance
  • Walk in the sunshine
  • Garden
  • Yoga
  • Meditate
  • Pray
  • Journal
  • Write
  • Blog
  • Pet the dogs and cat
  • Sing
  • Eat healthy food
  • Connect with family and friends
  • Read joyful books and blogs
  • Listen to joyful podcasts
  • Spread love

Word of the Year


Photo by Lynn Cummings.

For the past few days, I have been thinking and thinking and thinking about the New Year and what I want to do with 2010. You see, the New Year has always been a time of brazen hope for me. For this reason, the New Year counts as one of my favorite holidays in the calendar. And as I’ve been journaling and pondering and on the phone with Shelly discussing our exciting hopes for 2010, I have been thinking about and working on my traditional list of what I would like to do in 2010.

And then I read this blog entry from Andrea Scher. To quote:

Have you picked your word of the year? Seems like the interwebs are abuzz with this idea and I love that it has taken a firm foothold over New Year’s Resolutions. I’m actually amazed that resolutions have stuck around so long. For most people they don’t work! and you know why? because they are all about deprivation. They remind us what’s wrong with us, what there is to fix. They tell us that if we were only more (fill in the blank) we would be happy/successful/a good person.

That’s the old way, right? Soooo 2009.

This is the year of the list. The Mondo Beyondo List, the word of the year, the year that we create intentions, follow our dreams, and let our passions and our joys guide us instead.

I LOVE this idea!! This resonated with me like a perfect crystal with a New Age junkie. I snatched it up and watched the light refract through it and said “Yes! Here is how I will organize my coming year!”

I could not settle on a single word, so I picked two. My two words for 2010 are Joy and Trust. I want to learn to be joyful again, and I want to trust in both my dreams and in people. I realized recently that I am isolated and lonely and it’s entirely my own doing. I keep everyone at arm’s length in order to protect myself from being hurt. And although this may be a great defense strategy, it is also very isolating. And so I’m opening up, letting go, and reaching out to touch people, which is really really really scary for me and will have to be done in small, incremental steps.

But hopefully, by the end of 2010, I will be joyful and connected.

A Year in the Life…

It seems quite the popular thing right now to chronicle a year in one’s life as one struggles towards a (hopefully) happier, more fulfilling future: “Julie and Julia”, “Eat, Pray, Love” and “The Happiness Project” all being prime examples. As it is the beginning of a new year, this seems like the perfect time to consider the idea.

If you were to chronicle 2010, a year in your life, what is it that you would want to strive for? What are you trying to change? Would you cook 524 recipes in 325 days? Would you travel to three countries to rediscover the happiness that fell out of your soul? Would you try a new happiness habit every month?

As for me, I have decided that 2010 is to be the Year of Joy. I have actually forgotten how to be joyful. I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. Over the past five years — since the birth of my first child — my life has become one of duty, responsibility and obligation. And although these things are very important, when a life becomes solely one of duty, well… weariness and sadness soon follow.

I wish I could tell you that I will do x amount of things in y amount of time, but the truth is, this year for me is simply one of exploring myself and learning how to be joyful again: writing for fun, sewing for fun, being for fun… learning to play again.

And the first step is for me to slow down. I have become the stereotypical surburban mom with my husband driving to work in the city every morning while I stay home to keep the house and drive my two children to their preschool in my SUV. And as a stereotypical mom, I have my blinders firmly in place so I can stay focused with tunnel vision on the next task.

But all the color has drained out of my world. I have slowed down, taken the blinders off, and now search for the happiness that has fallen out of my soul.

And that’s what I intend to do this year.

More inspirational children’s tunage

barbie-movie

I have three more songs from children’s movies to share.

“The Climb” from Hannah Montana: The Movie:
[audio:https://www.benignchaos.com/audio_files/The_Climb.mp3]

Sometimes the inspiration is woven into the lyrics and not so much in the tune or beat as in the following song:

“Written in Your Heart” from Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper:
[audio:https://www.benignchaos.com/audio_files/Written_In_Your_Heart.mp3]

And sometimes the inspiration is all about the beat, and you jump and dance and spin around your living room, feeling your own happiness pulse with the beat of the song, as in the following song:

“Alex on the Spot” from Madagascar 2:
[audio:https://www.benignchaos.com/audio_files/Alex_On_The_Spot.mp3]

Now get out there and fly! You rock, baby!

An awesome way to begin the day

camp-rock.0.0.0x0.432x432

I have two preschool children, so I watch a lot of children’s shows. And I have discovered two things:

  1. Children’s shows are almost always inspirational.
  2. I tend to like children’s shows very much because they are almost always inspirational.

Recently we watched Camp Rock. It was a bit hokey, but overall I liked it. And there was one song I liked very much. In fact, it is now the song on my alarm so when I wake up in the morning, I have “This is Me” lyrics running in my head. It’s a great way to wake up. As I’m stumbling around, brushing my teeth, putting my gym clothes on, and basically trying to keep myself motivated, these lyrics are running through my head:

This is real, this is me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I’ve found, who I am
There’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Here’s the song if you would like to listen. I do like it very much. Just press the play button and step into my morning routine.

[audio:https://www.benignchaos.com/audio_files/this_is_me.mp3]